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Am I Bugging you? I didn't Mean to Bug Ya.
by Philip Mondello

Options | Control

Okay. So you finally got that swingin, hip bachelor pad in the big city--or maybe all you can swing is a dump in Podunk. Hey, home is where you hang your hat and there's no place like it. Chances are more than likely that your crib probably has a lot more in common with those swanky uptown high-rises and artsy downtown lofts than you might think. I'm not talking window treatments and faux finishes here!

That's right. In the right light, even my place looks like a penthouse. But every so often, when I turn on the lights and those non-paying roommates scurry about, a very grossed out, if not judgmental inner voice exclaims, "Dorothy! You've got roaches."

So what do you do when the sanctity of your crib is invaded? Scream? Jump up on a chair? Puke? First of all, relax. You're not alone. It doesn't necessarily mean you're a slob, there are all sorts of factors that contribute to infestation. From swanky uptown condos to artsy downtown lofts to houses in the hills, everybody has something crawling underneath those faux finishes. The trick is to handle it with grace so that those you do invite to your humble ponderosa don't think you live in a vermin infested dump.

Help - What are my options?

Whether your China is porcelain or plastic... whether dad pays the rent or you're working four jobs to keep your landlord in cheap suits... everybody has something crawling around their place. Let's look at our options and see if we can't come up with a better way to keep these little buggers out.

  • You just move out
    But odds are there'll be bugs there too. Obviously, some areas are more prone to infestation. Hint, the closer you are to restaurants, the more "visitors" your likely to have.

  • You could litter your place with little black motels
    Okay, they always seem to get stepped on or vacuumed up and let everyone else who visits know that you have a vermin problem, but at least you still have your place!.

  • You could have a guy spray dubious ingredients around your place
    At our building it's a greasy guy named Moe who smells worse than he looks, but not as bad as the stuff he sprays. Once a month... every month...no matter what you're in the middle of.

  • You could try something very very inexpensive and simple: Boric Acid.
    I discovered it when I lived in New York and I had all the extras from Men In Black living in my kitchen. It works wonders and is now part of my "moving in to a new place ritual".

Boric Acid?
Sounds a lot more sinister than it really is. It's a white powder that you can get for pennies at any decent hardware store. The way it works is, bugs get the acid powder on their tiny little feet and when they lick it off, as they are prone to do, it not only kills them, but it does it in a manner that sends them scurrying out of your apartment.

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